How Stoicism Helps Me With My Mental Health

Anxiety, like most things in life, is a product of how we think. Epictetus, one of the great stoics said this, which has increased importance to me over the past few weeks.

Some things are in our control, while others are not. We control our opinion, choice, desire, aversion, and, in a word, everything of our own doing. We don’t control our body, property, reputation, position, and, in a word, everything not of our own doing. Even more, the things in our control are by nature free, unhindered, and unobstructed, while those not in our control are weak, slavish, can be hindered, and are not our own.

So much of the general anxiety I carry with me is due to things outside of my control: worrying about if some person likes me or not, what people think of some decision I made, world events, etc. I have spent untold amounts of time worrying about things, not within my control. When you begin to understand this, as Epictetus says, peace is possible. I can control how I react to an event, I have control over my will, and I have control over my aspirations and hopes. Those are things I influence not other people’s thoughts or desires. There is power in knowing what you can and cannot control. If you consume yourself with worries about things outside of your control you will undoubtedly become anxious and frustrated. That does not mean you cannot be concerned about anything outside of yourself, but to understand what you can and cannot exert influence over. Moreover, are the things that we can control like our mind, not more important than everything else? Epictetus wrote, “What really frightens and dismays us is not external events themselves, but how we think about them.” How true.

Most things we get anxious over, and this is especially true for me, are things in the future. Our brain is designed to expect the worst-case scenario. Think back to our evolutionary history, as early primates, danger lurked everywhere. Uncertainty breeds a lot of anxiety. There’s an old proverb that says, There is nothing certain but the uncertain. I know not worrying about the future is easier said than done. However, knowing what you can and cannot control makes things a little easier. Life is going to throw a whole lot at you. You cannot live your life in fear of what might happen. However, you can control how you react to events life throws at you. There’s power in that. When you find yourself feeling overcome with worries or anxiety, remind yourself what is important to you. On my necklace that I wear every day is a pendant with the words, This Too Will Pass. I wear it to remind myself that in times in which I feel unable to control life, whatever it may be, will eventually pass, so to the anxiety and worries that occupied my brain. What is the antidote to worrying about the future or things outside our control? Live in the moment. Enjoy the present. It is the only thing we have after all.